Damn...I Realized I’m Clearing Emotional Trauma
Today I hit a realization that is blowing my mind. I realized that I am the product of two narcissistic parents! Now this is no way a jab at mom and pops, but daaaaamn y’all!
I mean come on, I’m a pretty dope guy if you ask me. I’m not the conventional man but I do bring home some thick cut bacon, and will even fry it up with a nice glass of o.j.
(but I digress)
I never really gave myself the opportunity to feel how dope I actually am because I was so busy wondering if I was doing it right for everyone else, and/or that if people saw the real me they would talk bad about me.
How traumatic is that for a charismatic, artistic and imaginative big, queer Black boy? I mean having to feel like my manhood wasn‘t manly enough, being drowned in the disgusting waters of religion and being sheltered worst than a kid living during the pandemic weren’t enough!?
NO!
I had to also have two parents that focused more on the idea of who they wanted me to be, rather than who I wanted to become for myself. I spent a major portion of my life, to this date, wasting my gifts, talents, and skills because I didn’t know how to express them.
But thank god I did my own work chile! Had I not, this could really have screwed with me and took me out the game. Instead, I see it as a plus!
I’m 30 and haven’t fully peaked yet!
I have so much to offer the world and I want to explore how I can do that best. And god knows that I’m definitely going to!
I’m going to get naked if I want to and be proud of the body that’s there! ALL OF IT! I’m going to sing with whatever voice comes out of my mouth and groove like never before! I’m going to learn the things that I always wanted to know more about, and I’m going to run the HELL out of two amazing businesses!
I’m a freaking gansta! And I deserve to hold space even though the egos of my parents said that I shouldn’t or couldn’t! I choose to bask in the energy of my badassness and let the insecure shell of myself wither away on the desert floor!
I‘m an oasis where travelers of life seek refuge and leave feeling refreshed and determined to succeed. That is a major power and I should honor that rather than stifling it. So I will give myself to show that I am worth crossing into this plane!
I’m going to let my flag fly and my light shine bright as ever!
Moral of the story:
Even if you too are a product of narcissistic parents, were bullied for who you are, weren’t exposed to the things that you needed as a kid or whatever the case, you deserve to SHINE!
Life is for you to live abundantly, so if you don’t know how to shine...let’s figure it out! You deserve to hold space within this world. You are worth being here. Never dim your light to let other’s overshadow you. It is the light of many stars that illuminates the universe.✨🖤✨