Addressing the Fears of Starting My Coaching Business by Joshua Warren
I'm reading a book entitled, "Make Money as a Life Coach" by Sally Miller and Melissa Ricker. As I sift through the pages that are full of so much wisdom and encouragement, I noticed they have listed activities that address the fears and doubts that we as life coaches feel when building our coaching businesses. This sparked my interest because I have been feeling self-doubt and fear when it comes to building my business.
They listed a question that gave me an opportunity to truly sit with these feelings and discover where they come from and the best method of addressing them.
The question is, "What am I thinking and feeling right now when it comes to my coaching business?"
Sitting with this question I feel humbled by the results that come up. It's a swirl of emotions, thoughts and feelings that are both positive and negative.
A part of me feels confident, excited, and ready to dig in deep and help others do the work. This is the entrepreneurial spirit that was passed on to me by my grandparents and other members of my childhood community. I am aware of the gifts that I possess and know that the value they bring to my clients is the most important factor in making the decision to build a coaching business.
The other part is terrifying! It comes from my inner child that has been afraid to step completely out of the box for so long. What if people judge my personal flaws more than they recognize the value of the work? What if I'm not successful in communicating the value of my services and their benefits to others? What if I attract people that want to do the work but aren't committed to the process, and my business fails? All these things run through my mind causing a tension within my body. These are negative thoughts and feelings that I have failed to address, but now is the time to confront them.
Negative feelings can feel so much more impactful than positive ones sometimes. Although I understand the value and benefit of the work that I do, it can get to the point that the feelings of anxiety and fear that take hold of my mind and body are overwhelming all of my senses. In this state, I begin to spiral. All my flaws come to the surface and my judgmental mind begins to ridicule everything that I do wrong and highlights each of my weaknesses.
However, when we allow ourselves to work through the feelings of doubt and fear and release them from the forefront of the mind, we are able to see that this is a journey that will be full of lessons, experiences, and opportunities to serve our purpose of helping others navigate these very same feelings to move through life with more clarity, passion, and free flowing energy. It's from this space, this understanding, that I am able to remember that everything doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to feel good.
Life coaches are people too. We have negative thoughts and feelings that we must address so that we are serving our purpose confidently for our clients. It doesn't have to be perfect right out of the gate. We all have weaknesses that we can strengthen and areas that we have neglected to develop that could use our attention. Recognizing that we don't have it all together out of the gate, and that certain areas can use attention is what is most important. Once we are able to recognize the areas that need to be addressed, we can adequately begin to develop practices that will bring forth the change that we desire.
For instance, I believe that I am an incredible writer, but I also believe that my speaking is atrocious and that I could do a better job at communicating verbally. The belief about my writing produces confidence in myself and my abilities. However, the belief about my speaking produces defeat and lack. Recognizing that my speaking could use some attention so that I am not overwhelmed when it is time to speak is nothing to fear. It's actually healthy to get an understanding of areas of ourselves that need improvement. So I'm choosing to give myself some grace. However, the story that I tell myself about my speaking being atrocious should not be the main focus. I understand that my verbal communication with regard to my thoughts about my business need attention, and I feel good knowing that I can provide that for myself.
The feelings that we feel about the thoughts that we think as new business owners can cause us to make it, or break it. Going into this endeavor, there are positive and negative thoughts and feelings that deserve to be recognized in healthy ways. Instead of believing the worse, I choose to believe the best and provide myself with time and opportunities to improve the areas that have been neglected. That is what will make this business a success.
The success of our work doesn't come from the money we make, but from the impact that it has on our clients and ultimately on ourselves. Offering grace under fire is the life hack to building confidence, establishing your vision, and executing from a place of positivity. I accept that there are areas that I have yet to develop and I am pleasantly delighted that I have the time and opportunity to devote to my personal and professional development. When the image of our lives feel blurred and feelings of doubt and fear cause us to ridicule ourselves, it's important to remember that life is a journey and each of us signed up for the ride. We can either choose to let our weaknesses defeat us, or we can sharpen those skills, develop those areas, and conquer the beast of the mind to achieve the life of our dreams.
I am excited to dig into this work and address the areas that can use my attention. If you are building a business, starting or working to complete a project, wanting to go back to school or are in a place to make a huge pivot in your life remember to offer yourself grace. Journaling helps us to list our fears and doubts, examine what we feel in our minds and bodies as we examine them, and create conscious efforts to provide time and space to address them. We are on a journey to get it right and every bit of progress helps. Our work will pay off and we will begin to see the results that we desire. Just one moment at a time.